Those who have particular tastes when it comes to sex often identify as “kinky” or as “fetishists.” But these two words actually have significantly different meanings and shouldn’t be used interchangeably. A man would do well to know what his sexual desires and preference are, since a gratifying sex life is imperative to overall physical, mental and penile health. Here, men can learn how to identify their tastes as either sexual fetishes or kinks, as well as some tips for communicating desires to partners and fulfilling them safely.
A fetish is chiefly characterized by the fact that the individual needs something – whether during the sexual act or simply in his imagination – in order to get off. That thing is often either an object or a body part. Feet, leather and heels are common fetishes. A man may need, for example, to be in contact with feet, to be looking at them or at least to be picturing them in order to achieve sexual gratification.
Many people have fetishes, so they aren’t exactly abnormal. And, generally, they are not unhealthy. There are some more bizarre fetishes, such as wearing diapers and acting like an infant, attraction to teddy bears and the idea of being swallowed by someone whole or devouring another whole. These may be a bit harder to sell to a partner, but may be perfectly harmless.
There are some fetishes that can get people into trouble along with harming others if they are put into practice. These include frotteurism, or rubbing up against someone without their consent for sexual stimulation, attraction to animals and arousal by inflicting pain on animals. Acting out these fantasies would be illegal and immoral. People with such fetishes must rely on imagination or the creation of scenarios with a consenting individual that approximate the experience that entices them. Seeking therapy may help individuals safely manage these fetishes.
Since the fulfillment of a fetish, either in mind or in action, is necessary for a person to experience sexual release, it’s important to find partners who are open to them. Unfortunately, many individuals feel shame surrounding their fetishes. Bringing one up to a partner only to be met with derision, disgust or fear is not good for anyone. There are many online communities, such as FetLife, where people can connect with others in an open, honest environment friendly to fetishes both typical and further off the beaten path.
Unlike a fetish, a kink is something that a person enjoys very much sexually, but that the person doesn’t need in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. Some kinks may have the same objects as fetishes, such as leather or feet, but the desire is less intense. Acts like hair pulling, spanking, dirty talk and consenting voyeurism or exhibitionism are other examples of kinks.
Though the fulfillment of a man’s kinks is not necessary for sexual satisfaction, he may find them important enough to merit seeking out a partner open to exploring them. Incorporating one’s kinks may be the difference between okay/good sex and fantastic sex, and everyone deserves to have the latter.
Once a man is in a relationship in which his kinks or fetishes can be realized, he may experience a spike in sexual activity. There is very little to complain about there, but a man may notice that his rod is often sore from the frictions involved with sex, and possibly from fulfilling his kink or fetish if an element of roughness is involved. It’s important for men to keep their tools in peak condition so they are ready for action when the opportunity presents. Using a quality penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) is a good option for guys who could use some extra moisture in the region. This product contains Shea butter and vitamin E, which both work to hydrate the skin in different ways. Tag team chafing, dryness and soreness with a top-notch skin care product.